Manners

A couple weeks ago, our friend Pam loaned us a fabulous book on manners that was written in 1949. We (well, at least Jordan and I) have been enjoying reading little sections from the book at dinner, as our boys need LOTS of instruction in manners. (Pam was kind to say when she gave us this that she didn't think that my children were badly behaved - but that she knew I would actually read and enjoy the book...)

It's called Manners Please by Gail Brook Burket, and here is the introduction on "Being Kind":

"Having good manners means being kind. We should not think of good manners as a set of rules to be remembered, such as saying 'Please' and 'Thank you,' when we should. Good manners begin in the heart. They are always based upon kindness. As soon as we learn to let kindness guide our words and actions, we have good manners.
It is not always easy to be kind. We have to train ourselves to think of other persons rather than to think only of ourselves. Unless we practice being kind, we think, "I'll beat everyone to the swing!" Or, "That looks like the largest serving of ice cream. I'll take it." Instead of letting such selfish thoughts direct us, we have to learn to ask ourselves, "What is the kindest thing to do or say now?" Then we must do or say what we know is kind, no matter how hard it is to control our selfish wishes."

The text is more fun reading it on the 1940's paper.

This is really a spiritual concept - without repenting of selfishness and looking to God for change, we will never have very good manners. Because the book is written from the viewpoint that we are all selfish by nature, the kids can really relate to it, and it will be very helpful for all of us, I think.

The book has many chapters on topics such as "getting up promptly," "being neat," "using good table manners," "doing one's share of work," "using door mats," "chewing gum," and my personal favorite - "getting attention," which is about showing off. (Aidan is really into saying "watch me" constantly, and then he makes up a trick AFTER the person is watching...)

Some of these seem pretty obvious, but that is pretty much what I do all day - point out the obvious!

Here are the things I said tonight at Tom Thumb:
Please don't put your mouth on that railing. Sit down in the cart. Please don't hang on that shelf. See all the jelly jars? Those will hurt you if you pull the shelf down. No, I don't know exactly how heavy they are. Just don't pull on the shelf. Please don't stand in front of the cart while I am trying to go forward. Don't take things off the shelves. Please don't whistle THAT loudly. We are in public, and not everyone wants to hear you. Put that pen down - it's not yours.

Wow, I'm tired. It's time for bed...